Greedy people should be kicked in the teeth. And then those teeth should be put back in by a shoddy dentist, sans anesthesia… for the sole purpose of standing them upright once more (or maybe kneeling them down as one would have to kick rather high otherwise) and then plowing ones heel right smack into those front teeth yet AGAIN… and this cycle should continue three or four times….

More specifically, the people who run and own Airlines should be kicked in the teeth. And yes, I’m being terribly graphic but that’s where three days STRAIGHT of packing and re-packing your luggage will get you.

Gone is that naïve, starry eyed dope of a girl who thought, “Gee! I’d just love to own enough to pack into two suitcases… channel St. Francis of Assisi, give all my stuff to the poor, live off of cracker crumbs and sing to the mice while they perch on my finger, yada, yada, yada…. How utterly romantic!” 

That girl has now been chastened and embittered by the dastardly, chartreuse fairy “Reality in your face” (RIF for short). And she is not at all subtle about waving her pointer finger while saying, “Not so romantic when you’re frantically trying to cram a year’s worth of clothing/toiletries/books etc into a 50 lb bag now is it? In fact (insert maniacal chuckling here) it’s downright impossible!”

I hate airlines, I hate packing, I hate that I own a ludicrous amount of things and am not as willing to give up said things as I’d once supposed. But most of all I hate that if I bring a SINGLE one of the books that mean more to me than clothing ever will, I will literally have room for nothing more than 5-10 books, as they pretty much all weigh at least 3-5 lbs a piece.

I’m seriously contemplating picking out one outfit for the entire year and then spending the rest of it convincing everyone that Americans have decided cartoon characters are trendy and we should all be like them (hence the same outfit, day in and day out).

I wonder if anyone has realized how effective it would be to torture a person by making them pack and repack a bag, over and over and over and over and over and (over times infinity)…   Maybe I should sell my idea to the torturing patent office…  or if there isn’t one, invent one and then make a ton of money and ship as many flipping bags that weigh as much as I want them to, to any flipping place I want!!!!!

I just want my books… and for the never-ending packing to be over… and to not be a cartoon character!

 

 … sob…