I loathe getting ready in the morning and as a result, spend the entire time  thinking on deep and ponderous subjects, or imagining stories and plots in which I range from running the largest female assassin company in history to having a delightful brunch with Lewis Carroll.

And often, during the boring series of toothbrush strokes, I find that certain thoughts will hit me with unexpected ferocity. Just such an occurrence took place the other morning and I found myself thinking, “hmmm… I have a blog now, I should blog about this… ”

This isn’t a revolutionary thought, is quite old and has been repeated thousands of times, in books and songs, and that one really famous book (the Bible).  But as you probably already know- it seems to be those foundational truths (the ones that seem backwards and odd because well, they are backwards and odd in this society) that are hardest to grasp.

 And for me , at the moment, it’s the idea that God does not change. Which I supposedly already know, but don’t really “know” in that it makes absolutely NO sense to me. EVERYONE else in my life changes… everyone…. And almost everything in my life is constantly changing… In fact, so much change occurs in others and myself and in this world that at times I am left feeling a bit seasick.

It’s not even the fact that others change that makes it hard to grasp this unchanging deity concept. It’s the fact that I, personally, change often and rather markedly! And this usually affects my relationships with others .

There is the occasional relationship in which the change in myself does not alter the perception, reaction or thoughts towards me from the other person, but let’s be honest… that is rare. We change, resulting in others changing, resulting in us changing even more…which sometimes results in changing the relationship entirely. And while these may be bad or good changes… they are still changes.

So all my changing and moving and the drastic altering of environment, situation, circumstance, relationship, mood, etc makes it colossally hard for me to understand that God does not, never has, and never will change. When I become what I think is an entirely different person from the one I was a year, or two years or 10 years ago… He loves the person I am today the same as the person I was before.

Usually in a relationship in which one person stops talking to the other, or two people just haven’t talked in a while…. It’s… awkward… and if the relationship has ceased due to one person hurting the other or both hurting each other, or a broken/forgotten promise… generally some intense groveling/apologies and “aw shucks”, sheepish face meetings have to take place before any semblance of normality can take place again…. And though I know that won’t take place with him, I still always expect it. I still avoid and hide and pull the Adam and Eve in the garden stunt each time.

Even in today’s society “change” is the new catchphrase… “Did you like our old product? Well guess what we’ve changed it! It’s new and improved and better!” Corporations push their employees to think of change, to think of new ideas and change things that may already work just fine, because if you’re not changing you’re not on “the edge” or “relevant” or (insert other stupid word or phrase that now adorns the cover of the latest slew of self-help, business and marketing books).

 And when I decide certain aspects of religion or church are cheesy, and I need to change the way I worship, the books I read, the people I listen to, the way I speak, etc… He is still the same God, probably somewhat amused at my ridiculous worrisome attempts to be the better, trendier, or newer version of someone who serves him. And maybe a little sad that I have focused on that versus actually knowing Him (the one thing in the religious environment that is NOT changing).

And through all of this he remains the same… When he says something is going to happen…. He means it. When he says, “For Zion’s sake I will not keep silent, for Jerusalem’s sake I will not remain quiet, till her righteousness shines out like the dawn, her salvation like a blazing torch.” (Isaiah 62:1) he really, heart wrenchingly, jealously, and intensely means it…

The church is always changing, God never does. The bride is always changing/running away/finding other lovers… The bridegroom never does. The children are always changing… the Father never does. And strangest of all…. While I am always changing… He never does.

So thank you toothbrush moment… with that little reminder or perhaps the start of finally understanding something I cannot wrap my head around… I find myself less anxious about the changes within myself and going on around me… He has always had a plan… he already figured me into them and my little “changes” are far less drastic to Him… because as Proverbs 16:9 states, “In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.”